Why I don’t Exercise

Why I don't Exercise

When I became a blogger, I thought it would be all glitz and glamour. One thing that nobody warns you about is how hard it is if you decide to dabble in fitness blogging. No-one is interested in someone who considers climbing the stairs as cardio. The people want blood, sweat, tears, hard core abs and running until you vomit.  They need to see beast mode with long eyelashes. When you think about fitness like that, it’s enough to put you off exercise completely. But if you still want to exercise, here some reasons why you shouldn’t….or my excuses for not wanting to.

# The time it takes

When I see those ads for exercise programmes claiming it “only takes 20 minutes a day”, or some random length of time, I want to punch something. Sure, the class might be an hour, or half an hour, but that is just the class. We need to take into account how long it takes to travel to the class, back from the class, to get cleaned up after the class. This is time out our day that we don’t have time to waste. Even if we were to work out from home using an exercise video, we would still need to find time to follow the video and get showered afterwards. Most of the time, that requires getting out of bed earlier….

# Getting up earlier

Yeah, that’s not happening. Ever. I have three kids and need my sleep. More importantly, I like my sleep. I cannot justify getting myself (or anybody else) out of bed earlier for the sake of exercise. I have a memory foam mattress and a husband that rubs my back if I wake up too early. He knows me, and he knows that if I am awake at 5am that something is wrong. Either I can’t sleep because of a nightmare or one of the kids is awake. Besides, my brothers-girlfriends-second cousin knows a guy that knows a girl, who researches this stuff. They said something about exercise and sleep and one being better than the other….

# Competition

It doesn’t matter if you are exercising for your health or for fun, there is always competition. And these days, competition is fierce. I not just talking about you versus the step aerobics class pet. Social media means that we are now competing against people who compete to win. These guys live for blood, sweat and tears. I just wanted to dance a bit so that I can justify that bottle of wine and curry from Saturday night. Now I feel like I have to justify every bottle of wine and curry that has ever crossed my lips. We don’t need that type of pressure.

# The diet

Let’s just lump that on there too. If you are flexing your guns at the gym, people want to know what you are sticking in the temple that is your body. And if it isn’t the trendy thing du jour, then why are you even bothering with exercise bro? Is it vegan? Is it low carb? Did the caveman eat it? Is it gourmet? And if it is something “normal”, has it at least been sprinkled with the tears of unicorns or the blood of your enemies? No?

# Plain lazy

I’m exhausted thinking about all of that. It’s a lot of work for a person. You have to get up early, make yourself look presentable, do the exercise. Then a few selfies while doing the exercise. Get cleaned up. Make a uber healthy meal. Instagram said meal. Do your day (including work, running your home, seeing your friends, Netflix, sleep). That’s exhausting.

Yeah…no…that’s not happening…..I like carbs, sleep and my sanity much more. Not that there is anything wrong with doing all that, you do you sunshine. I will be over here with my bag of chips, liking your pictures on Instagram and watching cats on YouTube.

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Internet explorer fluent in several languages including meme, emoji and #hashtag

2 comments / Add your comment below

  1. I never used to have to exercise, but I’ve recently discovered that my post-40 metabolism means I need to spend at least three hours of my day doing cardio just to maintain. JUST TO MAINTAIN! That’s a half hour video workout in my living room after the kids go to school and a 25-30 mile bike ride just to eat dinner. It’s exhausting.

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