Loss, it’s an awful thing.
I lost my Gran and Aunt in quite a quick succession and there isn’t a day goes by when I don’t miss them. When I don’t wish I could pick up the phone and speak to them one last time.
Loss, it something we all deal with differently, something which affects each one of us in a different manner.
Just because someone isn’t outright bawling their eyes out doesn’t mean they are not suffering the same way inside. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt them, just like it hurts you.
With that in mind here are a few things to think about when dealing with loss.
Not Everyone Greaves The Same
You need to let people get on with their way of dealing with the loss, as long as it’s is safe and healthy.
For instance, distraction can be great, but if people start, to completely lose themselves in other things and don’t give them some time to come to terms with things, it can be bad.
Try and support those around you and let them support you in return as you all come to terms with the loss.
Talk About It
Not everyone will want to talk about the loss, but for many, it will be a comfort.
Speaking about you they are feeling and the thoughts going on inside your head is a good thing and can you come to terms with what is going on.
However, some perhaps don’t like to speak, so getting things out in writing, which you may share, or may not, can be an alternative way to talk it out.
Memories are amazing things and can quite often help you through the toughest of times.
Making a memorial to the person who has died may help. This could be a bench, a tree planted or something similar in a place they loved.
While sometimes people decided to dedicate races or achievements to the ones they have lost.
You could also think about putting together a memory book or scrapbook of all your favourite times with the person. Includes images, text and mementoes from your time together and allow it to be something you can look back over when times are feeling a bit tough.
Ask For Support
If need be you can look outside your family and friends for support.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing extra help to get through such a time. Remember we all deal with grief differently and needing some councilling to get you through this time is something many people find they need. Specialist counsellors are there to help you deal with the grief process and find ways to help you move forward in your life.
Know The Stages
Grief has its own set of stages and it is quite normal to go through them.
If you know about them, it can often help you understand that what you are going through is completely normal and others will understand.
The stages are:
- Denial and Isolation.
Everyone goes those these stages at different times. So don’t feel you have to go through them at a set rate. Let your body and mind mend how they know fit and reach out if you feel you cannot do it alone.
Loss, is an awful thing and none of us knows how we will deal with it until it happens, each loss may also be different.
Of course, it’s not just the emotions we have to go through, but at times we need to deal with things like reporting the death, dealing with the funeral and estate. This useful tool from Sunlife, will help you think through things which need doing as well as helping answer some questions you may have.
This is a collaborative post.